*Knock knock.*
Oh, hello there. Sorry to bother you, but I would like to talk to you about something important.
It won't take long. Your laundry can wait. Those emails don't need to be answered immediately, right? You can still pick your kids up from school tomorrow.
I'm sure you've heard something like this before. It probably feels overwrought, too sentimental, too generous.
But this is different.
Who do you think was central to all this?
Let us now read from the scriptures… uhh, scorecards. And let us lay out her glory in the hallowed bulletpoint format.
- Nine days after that, Athapaththu pummelled, in splendour,
an 80 not out off 47 to secure Sri Lanka's first ever T20I win over New Zealand.
- In England, she struck
55 off 31, then
44 off 28, as Sri Lanka vanquished that opposition in a series for the first time
These are not little performances. Athapaththu is not just the talisman of her side, she is one of the greatest forces in cricket, propelling her team higher than they have ever been.
And there are great supporting acts: Harshitha Samarawickrama, Kavisha Dilhari, Vishmi Gunaratne, as well as veteran bowlers such as Inoka Ranaweera and Udeshika Prabhodani. But Sri Lanka are hugely reliant on Athapaththu providing both the fire power and substance in most innings.
We haven't spoken about her bowling here, which has been immense. Or her captaincy, which has brought about the richest season her team has ever had.
She was only a late call-up to the last WBBL, but wound up being the player of the tournament there. She was largely snubbed by the WPL, and yet, in thumping 195 not out against South Africa a month later, produced one of the greatest innings of all time.
Not even the highlights of that innings are available on YouTube, or on any easily accessible platform. Which is why we're here talking to you now, directly.
Without Athapaththu's perfomances, Sri Lanka would not win quite so often, or perhaps would not play at all - Sri Lanka Cricket not having bothered to organise matches for the women's team through the course of the pandemic, though the board's officials boasted of a financial surplus soon after.
We're not trying to start a new religion. We don't think Athapaththu wants that. But she is ruling cricket like almost no one is ruling it right now.
And she deserves so much better than a cult following.
Andrew Fidel Fernando is a senior writer at ESPNcricinfo. @afidelf